Mister B. Gone

Author: Clive Barker

ISBN: 9780007276288

The first line of this novel gives some very good advice - follow it . . .

Reviewed by Juan Toosie ( Fats )

The opening line of this book reads: 'Burn this book.'

I think you'll agree that this is a fantastic beginning to a book. It's intriguing, it catches at the imagination . . . it makes you want to read more.

I have been a Clive Barker fan for a very long time. Weaveworld was one of the very first dark fantasy books I ever read, and I fell in love with the genre. I have read all Clive Barker's novels, and I have been waiting for a new one for a very long time. The first line gave me great hope that he was back to his best . . .

. . . he's not. It's crap. Don't bother. The lead character is annoying. Half the book is just a soliloquy of begging that is not only repetitive but becomes, by the last page (which I skim read), the visual equivalent of an overweight hill-billy dragging his hang-nails down a chalkboard. Be honest – there isn't anything attractive in that image.

The story itself is nonsensical. Not that you care by he end – you just want it finished. Clive Barker is an all time hero of mine, and I struggled through this pile of twaddle to try and find some – any – redeeming feature. There weren't any.

It appears he's going the way of Jack Higgins – short books with crap plots printed in really big fonts to give the illusion of substance. I've read better postage stamps.

If, in a moment of madness, you do go and buy this book, follow its first instruction. Set fire to it.

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